Out growing

Sandhya Iyer Bhide – the voice of Nalanda International Management School; a woman of impressive intelligence, both rational and creative. The ease with which she has captured the need and essence of ‘transformations’ or ‘outgrowing’ as she calls them, is commendable and thoughtprovoking.

iyerbhide

What do we do when our clothes no longer fit us? Either we discard them or work on ourselves to ‘fit in’. It depends on the frame of mind at that point in time and could be influenced by several factors, including sentimental ones.

And what happens when we out grow a situation or relationship? Applying the clothes analogy, we could give them up or work on them and ourselves for the “fit-in”.

Giving up, out grown clothes or relationships/situations creates space for new ones. Work still has to be done on the ‘new’ and ourselves too. There is no escape from the ‘doing’ or ‘working’ part.

When we outgrow a relationship or a situation and wish to work on ourselves to still ‘fit-in’, to my mind, the communication becomes vital…both internal and external. And the awareness comes first. Until the awareness of outgrowing does not make a place and…

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Nurturing Saplings…

Graduation ceremony of my young cheerful friends and students at Saplings Play-way, New Delhi…has left me with beautiful memories, forever friendships and heartfelt gratitude. The assignment was taken on impulse, a project close to my heart. Four weeks, twelve sessions and twenty four hours with the enchanting little creations of God…I am still deciding whether I was able to teach them as much as they made me appreciate life.

A day of introductions, sharing smiles, wiping tears, being there…and the next day the greatest reward was their shining, eager, smiling faces and the loud cheerful welcome they gave me when I entered. After interacting and speaking for mature audience and at acknowledged events…I come back to these close-to heart projects as often as I can, to be rewarded with the genuine appreciation and innocent reverence that no money can overpower. A week down the journey, and the inquisitive young minds amazed me…the eagerness to learn filled me with the vigor an excitement to give them the best. Though unfortunately, I also realized the pressure and expectations that some of these young souls were experiencing …to perform, to excel and to win.

The trust and faith shown by the parents was overwhelming…the willingness to provide the best to their children was daunting. Everyday, I had mothers and fathers walking in to discuss the ‘challenges’, they were facing or the solutions that I could suggest to help them make their child be the best in everything. And now I write…addressing the parents…

Develop a Positive Self Image:   always talk positive and use affirmative sentences with your child. Every word you say is defining and designing his/her self image and this self image is going to shape their self-esteem and confidence. Comparisons, public admonishing, self-deprecating words…can ruin your child’s future. Do not let your own anger or fatigue and any person around your child paint a negative picture on your child’s young mind. Give them the love and appreciation they so deserve and see them blossom.

Ease your Expectations:   Every parent wants to be a proud parent ! agreed ! You are doing so much for your child, working so hard every day…you do deserve the best performance from your child. But please be careful that your expectations should not fill them with fear, nervousness and stress. Child stress can lead to hindered growth and restlessness. Let your child know…that you will love him in any condition, that its alright to not be ‘1st’ sometimes, that you are proud of who they are and as they are…and then happily witness the peaceful yet energetic desire that fills your child and helps them be the best.

Know your Child’s True Potential:   Every child is unique. Every child is a genius in their own special way. Do not judge a fish by its ability to climb. Do not judge a rabbit by its ability to swim. Being a parent myself I know the magnitude of responsibility that weighs on our shoulders. Every moment we ask ourselves – ‘am I doing the right thing for my child?’ And this dilemma and confusion that we witnessed in dozens of parents, encouraged us to lay the foundation of the Rich Life process with BATTOL. Biological Aptitude Test is a blessing for parents and guardians who wish to discover the true genius of their ward. “It is almost like magic, I know my child like I have never known her before…this will guide me in helping her choose the right path and be happy in her life” – said a parent. Our children don’t come with an instruction manual and neither can we afford to loose precious time in ‘trial and error’ with our child. You are the parent, you want the best for your child…but take the assistance of resources and experts who know the best for every child. The priceless bundle of joy that destiny blessed you with, is a ‘future’ in your hands. Nourish them with the love, faith, trust and knowledge they truly deserve from us.

Remember…Children are not things to be molded, but are People to be Unfolded.

Women Entrepreneur – Her Challenges !

Fortune brought my way the opportunity to become a part of the ‘10,000 women entrepreneurs community’, selected globally by Goldman Sachs. Drown in my work; careworn by the everyday tasks that seemed Herculean…it was like driving through heavy fog, straining my eyes to seek the signs that will assure my progress towards my desired success. Suddenly, the 10,000 Women Entrepreneur certification program emerged like a lighthouse and I was called to attend the business and management course designed and offered to felicitate successful entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs and ISB Hyderabad in association with Birla Institute of Management & Technology, Noida.

Destiny smiled. I couldn’t help remembering my application from 20 months back – completed, sealed and addressed waiting to be couriered. I was in middle of the mind-boggling process of diversifying my business, my precious daughter was not even two years old…and most importantly even after 6 years of managing a self sufficient business and years of senior management experience with world’s best companies, I was in the process of rediscovering my missing confidence that almost all new mothers have to undergo. Still I had faith that I will connect with this global network – and I did ! Ironically, I applied online and my 20 month old application is still in the drawer of my desk.

Guided by the amazing, empathetic and highly organized team of BIMTECH, orchestrating the entire program – I entered their peaceful campus on the morning of 11th Feb 2013. For the next six days each of the attendees of the program were simply amazed at every step – we felt important, assure of ourselves and entirely at home…thanks to each and every member of the organizing committee at BIMTECH, Noida.

Nine hours each day of finance, strategy and market research; six days of informative sharing with women entrepreneurs from different sectors but same phase of life; a week of core-shaking, highly motivating yet bluntly truthful interactions with the country’s best faculty…and I learnt that we all are seafaring in different boats but our sails are in the same state of struggle and we all feel that the winds always rage in the opposite direction. And here are the top three not-so-technical things that I learnt during this week –

• Scarcity of Funds – you want an office to meet your clients, but you don’t realize that Skype can help you meet more clients than any office can. We all complain of not having enough money! And we need money to buy things or intellect which we think we need to expand. We learnt how we can utilize our existing resources in the optimum way…and surprise! We realized we can survive and grow without external funding.
• People Don’t Take Me Seriously – ‘you are dressed in your crumpled kurtas but you want to be recognized as an entrepreneur’ (no offense intended)…and this is not coming from me as a visual communication expert but it was stated by a senior faculty of financial strategy.
• Team Matters – women are always better as individual performers…but during the six day session, I saw a tremendous synergy developing within the group and we realized that alone we can walk towards our destination but with synergy we can conquer our destined success!

So…here’s to all the multi-tasking, dynamic, enterprising women who are carving a niche for themselves with their creativity, zeal and passion to serve !

Happy New Year 2013

“Challenge yourself this New Year…to transform and transpire…into your most Vibrant, Vivacious & Victorious self.”

My 2013 Snapshot Plan: I choose to be –
Sensitive but also Sensible, Industrious but also Invincible, Friendly but also Fascinating, Diligent but also Dazzling, Graceful but also Gorgeous…..and Successful but also helping others SUCCEED !!!

I Choose to Speak !

Everyday since many days, I log on to Facebook and immediately choose to log out. I do not have the courage to ‘like’ and ‘share’ and ‘comment’ on the poignant tear-jerking photographs of helpless, lifeless children whose only fault was that they were born at the wrong place at the wrong time. Earlier Burma and now its turn for Palestine…the wars were surely not chosen by these infants….but they didn’t had a choice. Did they ?

Everyday since many months, I pick up the daily newspaper and then choose to hurriedly jumble the pages and add it to the increasing pile. I do not have the nerve to carry the burdens of atrocity and crime sprawling and spreading its roots in the lives of the common man. The political accusations of opposing parties and so-called revolutionaries, do not make any sense to me when I read on the same page the stories of men killed by mobs because they belonged to a different state, race or religion. With what hope should I teach my child about global political systems and civilizations, when young girls in my democratic country are being arrested for sharing there views on a social networking platform.

Everyday since many years, I see and witness people discussing and squabbling about political situations, terrorism, religious outbursts, corruption….and I choose to leave the scene without a word. I do not understand the futility of time spent on personal debates and scathing arguments that end in the confines of our homes and office cubicles.

But today….I choose to speak !

I speak for the inhuman carnage of innocent harmless children, who are helpless and ignorant to the reasons for which they are killed. I speak for the pain and suffering of the fathers and mothers carrying their precious one’s lifeless bodies in their hands. I speak for the young generation losing their lives, hopes, dreams and aspirations in the torrent of gunfire…they deserve freedom – freedom for thought, expression, education, happiness, life !

Source: Mirror News, UK. Egypt PM with a child’s body killed in Israeli airsrike.

Killing a Kasab in India was surely a victory for the nation…but is killing a Kasab the solution to this ongoing gang-war between nations and political giant forces. I have heard and read about the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights…but the actual realization of the human rights still evades the world. Decades of injustice and violence, a rocket fired from Gaza, Israel’s threat to invade the territory within 48 hours and numerous ignorant vulnerable children lose their lives for an unknown cause.

How can I write about fashion, etiquette, success, styling or celebrities…for a world who is losing the basic principles of life and humanity. And so, I choose to speak about the causes I didn’t have the nerve to talk about till today. It is so much easier to write about the truth…it was so difficult to choose to ignore and move on.  In every human life, we come across an opportunity every day, where we can make a difference to another life – if we choose to do so ! Today I urge you to choose humanity over all other beliefs and faiths you have harbored till today. I have thought for a long time that I am too helpless to make a difference, but maybe the difference will come eventually from the changing of attitudes and refusal to accept injustice. Choose to speak…choose to voice your opinion! Every voice matters! Every attitude brings a change in society  Pray for the souls of departed innocent lives…embrace humanity, embrace peace, extend love and life!

 

Freshers to Professionals

One of my favorite of the Rachel-Monica moments from the famous television series Friends, is from an early episode where the pampered rich Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) makes up her mind to become independent and starts her job-hunt. Her witty spirited friend Monica (Courtney Cox) salutes her decision with this statement – “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!”

The fun carefree college days have reached their ‘happy end’ leaving a much wanted ‘degree’ in your hands. Now begins the real journey, which will decide the course and destination of your life. Scary, right? The long corporate road ahead seems tempting, inviting and full of promises; yet, you fear the new way of life, a different daily routine, new and more formal relationships, different dress codes, politics, and the necessity to perform.

In one my recent workshops on ‘Successful Work Style’, a month-old employee (a fresh graduate in her first job) of a reputed newsprint company, complained that it seemed to her as if her life has come to an end, she can’t wear her favorite clothes, don’t have time for her friends and the workspace is too drab for her liking.’ This was followed by raised eyebrows from a few senior colleagues.

The first thing that came to my mind was – every fresher entering the workforce needs to clearly define what his expectations from a job are. Ashish Garg, Director and Head of Recruitment, Convergys India Services told Timesjobs.com user base during a “High-Tea” session – “It is important for everyone to pick a job where they fit. Graduates need to align jobs to their skills, interests, and aspirations.’ Being associated with Rich Life Worldwide, I have realized that many students don’t get the opportunity to realize their innate potentials and prepare themselves for the world ahead.

Every year India adds 3 million+ fresh graduates to its existing workforce. The competition that the young workforce is facing today is terrifying. It is our social duty to prepare our young generations for what lies ahead and beyond their pampered worlds. A person entering the ‘real world’ should be armed with a Rich Image to create rich impressions, convincing everyone around of their competency, paving a smooth path of success; and yet maintain their own little space of happy existence. Rich Image is not just about dressing right (though it is the most important part of making the right start), but it also includes communicating the right messages though your body language, managing new professional relationships, discovering the zeal to work and the ability to carve your own niche in the huge group of similar beings.

However, it is frustrating that growth does not depend on performance alone. In college, you give an exam and get a score. Here, there are other factors that determine whether or not you will be chosen for a hike or growth. Here are a few tips that may help you cope better –

• Look the Part:     There is no denying that you cannot come to the office in your denim cut-offs and t-shirts with witty slogans. Yet office-wear does not mean that you have to sacrifice your personal liking and lose yourself in the crowd. Read my previous post ‘Did anyone said – BORING’ and you will know what I am talking about. The girl I mentioned above was amazingly happy by the time I finished my workshop. What you need to remember is that now you are a part of the professional world and you need to convey the right message with your clothes and style statements.
• Hidden Job Description:     Learn. Be a sponge. Learn. Learn. Learn. And then, learn some more. Expand your perspective quickly beyond what your role is. Those who show tremendous growth in short spans of time are performers who have a hunger to learn, and an ability to look at the bigger picture. Understand the business from different perspectives.
• Be Sensitive of Your Environment:     There are thousands of cultural subtleties and interpersonal dynamics that exist in an organization. It will help immensely if you sensitize yourself to it. Some things like how you address your superiors will be very obvious, but there are also other unwritten rules that make a difference in the way you are perceived.
• Be Positive, Take Initiative:     A positive person is always good to work with. Nobody likes whiners, gossipers and mopes are avoided and ignored. Be a positive person with a fresh and enthusiastic vibe; stay clear of the negative personalities. Take initiative, ask for work if you have finished yours – this is the time to gain experience and learn, not a good time to waste in water-cooler gossips and checking your Facebook messages.
• Make Work Fun:     Personalize your tiny work space or cubicle with colors and knick-knacks that uplift you. A small frame with your favorite person’s picture or a family portrait can do wonders on those not so lucky days. A small vase with fresh flowers or your favorite miniature painting can add a dash of familiarity and you will find your workspace more inviting and warm. Just remember to be subtle and adhere to the professional ethics.

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